Turning Point (The Kathleen Turner Series) Read online

  Blane didn’t work out because he was vain and wanted a body women drooled over, though he wasn’t unaware of his physical appeal. He kept his body in as good a condition as possible because that’s what he’d been trained to do as a SEAL. The better shape he was in, the better his chances of survival, and that was that. Some lessons can’t be unlearned.

  I thought again of his possible reenlistment, but I shoved it to the back of my mind.

  Blane’s hands returned to caress my breasts, now achingly aroused and sensitive to the slightest touch.

  My fingers traced the contours of his chest and biceps, the firm muscles still fascinating and impressive to me. Our eyes caught and held. We didn’t speak, just looked into each other’s eyes as he touched me and I touched him.

  Capturing his roughened jaw in my palm, I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his for a sweet, tender kiss that I hoped conveyed what I didn’t have the courage say.

  It must have worked, because his arms slid around my waist to pull me close, our bodies colliding, skin against skin. I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist, eagerly deepening the kiss.

  Before I knew it, Blane had stood, with my arms and legs still wrapped tightly around him like a koala bear clinging to a tree.

  “Impressive,” I murmured against his mouth.

  “You haven’t seen anything yet,” he replied. His voice had that deep roughness to it that never failed to send a thrill of desire through me.

  Somehow we made it into my moonlight-dappled bedroom—my attention was on other things, like his lips, his neck, and his jaw—and Blane laid me down on the bed. I pulled him down with me, cradling his body between my thighs. Distantly, I heard his shoes hit the floor.

  His kisses were like a drug, and I couldn’t get enough. I started to push my flannel pajama pants down, but Blane stopped me.

  “Let me,” he said. Sitting back, he eased down the fabric, taking the panties I had on with it. When I was naked, he just looked at me.

  I squirmed a bit under his steady gaze, moving my arms to cross over my exposed chest, but he caught my wrists and held them.

  “Don’t cover yourself,” he implored softly. “You’re beautiful. Your skin glows like ivory in the moonlight, your hair a cascade of silver. You take my breath away, Kat.”

  Well, when you put it that way…

  Taking my hand in his, he lifted it to his face and gently pressed his lips to my palm. From my palm, his mouth traveled to the inside of my wrist, then the tender skin inside my elbow, all the way to the curve of my shoulder, pressing warm, wet kisses along the way.

  Blane slid his arms under my back to wrap around me, nuzzling my neck. The stubble on his jaw was a gentle scrape against my skin and I twined my arms around him, tilting my head to the side to give him better access. I heard him inhale deeply through his nose.

  “Do I smell bad?” I asked, suddenly worried.

  “You smell like home,” he replied, his voice a rough whisper in my ear.

  His words sank deep inside me, nestling somewhere near my heart.

  He kissed me, a melding of his mouth to mine that was as thorough as it was unhurried. It seemed more than sexual, more than lust, more than what it had ever been before.

  Blane lifted his head and I could see his eyes, glinting silver in the moonlight. He moved so he was braced on his elbows above me, both palms cradling my face as his thumbs brushed my cheekbones. His gaze was intense and I couldn’t look away. A moment passed.

  “What is it?” I asked, a sense of foreboding creeping over me. He seemed very grave, and I wondered if he had bad news to tell me.

  “No matter what,” Blane said quietly, “I want you to know that I love you.”

  My heart seemed to stutter in my chest as I stared at him, shock warring with joy inside me. Blane didn’t move, merely watching my reaction, his expression as serious as if he’d just told me he had only a week to live.

  “You do?” The question fell out, and I flushed as I realized how insecure it made me sound.

  Blane’s lips twitched a little before he replied. “I do.”

  A few seconds passed before I could make my mouth move again, to form the words I hadn’t spoken to anyone in a very long time.

  “I love you, too.” My voice broke on the last word, and I was embarrassed at the tears I had to blink back.

  Then his lips were again on mine, and I kissed him, holding nothing back. But soon, it wasn’t enough, and I fumbled at his belt before he removed my hands and undid it himself. I waited impatiently while he shed his remaining clothes and rejoined me in bed. The desire I had to give myself to Blane after what had just happened between us was overwhelming, almost like a need to confirm our words with actions.

  As much as I wanted to hurry, Blane wanted to take it slow, savoring each moment of our lovemaking. When he finally slid inside me, stretching and filling me, I let out a deep sigh of contentment.

  Then he was moving, his body, hard and powerful, surrounding me, pushing me closer to the edge. He loved me with his mouth and his hands, my sighs and gasps filling the room while he repeated words of love in my ear. And when I couldn’t take any more, when he urged me to let go for him, we fell over the edge together.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Blane’s breathing was deep and even as I watched him sleep, the moonlight providing enough illumination for me to see him clearly. His square jaw was dark with stubble, and lines of fatigue were etched around his eyes. I wondered what else had been going on while he’d been away, what other problems he was dealing with. Would he tell me when he woke? Or would he keep it to himself, wanting to protect me from anything unpleasant?

  That thought quite effectively pierced the happy bubble in which I’d been blissfully floating.

  I slid out of bed, taking care to not wake Blane. Grabbing his shirt, I slipped it on before closing the bedroom door quietly behind me. I made a pot of coffee and took a steaming cup into the living room. My sleep schedule was all off, and I was now wide awake, even though it was barely after five in the morning.

  I grabbed a blanket and sat cross-legged on the couch sipping my coffee. Tigger leapt up beside me, settling half on and half off my lap. I absently stroked his fur, lost in thought.

  What would change between Blane and me after what we’d said last night? I didn’t take the phrase “I love you” lightly, and I didn’t think Blane did either. I was nervous to see him when he woke, but contented, too. Blane’s feelings for me were no longer a mysterious unknown quantity. He’d put a name to them, and so had I.

  I couldn’t help the stupid grin on my face.

  A buzzing noise distracted me. It sounded like my phone, but it wasn’t the culprit. Getting to my feet and following the sound led me to Blane’s cell phone, in the pocket of his coat. A glance at the screen had my breath catching in my chest.

  Kade.

  I debated not answering. It was Blane he was trying to reach, after all. But what if something was wrong? What if he needed Blane right away? I decided to answer the call.

  “Hello?” My voice was tentative.

  “Whoever you are, you shouldn’t be answering Blane’s phone. Now be a good girl and put him on,” Kade responded briskly.

  “Kade, it’s me. It’s Kathleen.”

  Silence.

  “I see you made it back to Indy in one piece,” he finally said stiffly.

  I nodded stupidly, before remembering that he couldn’t see me.

  “Yeah.” I didn’t know what else to say. “I see you’re still alive, too.”

  “I’m hard to kill,” he said. More awkward silence.

  “I know you didn’t mean it,” I blurted, unable to hold back. “I know you just said those things to get me into the car.”

  A pause. “You needed to leave,” he replied, his voice flat. “It was a dumb move, bringing you with me. I nearly got you killed.”

  “I’m sorry I believed you, if only for a moment.”

 
Sorry didn’t feel adequate enough to convey the regret I felt at my own stupidity, for immediately putting him back into the category of a ruthless bastard who cared about no one but himself.

  “It’s easier that way, isn’t it?” he finally asked, his voice rough.

  I didn’t know what to say, didn’t want to look at the meaning behind that question.

  “And I’m guessing Blane is in your bed,” he continued when I was silent.

  Again I didn’t reply.

  Kade cursed and I winced. “Put him on the phone,” he said. “I need to talk to him.” His tone cut off any argument I might have made.

  “All right,” I said. “Hold on.”

  I went back into the bedroom, but paused inside the doorway. Blane seemed to be caught up in the middle of a bad dream, moving restlessly on the bed and mumbling.

  “Just a sec,” I said to Kade. “He’s having some kind of nightmare. I need to wake him.”

  “No, Kathleen, wait—”

  But I’d already leaned over the bed and grasped Blane’s shoulder.

  “Blane, wake—”

  Blane exploded upward, his fist flying toward me and catching me on the jaw. It was a glancing blow, but enough to send me hurtling backward. My head connected with the wall, and I let out a startled cry of pain before collapsing to the floor.

  “Oh my God, Kat!”

  Blane leapt from the bed, fully awake now and at my side in an instant. “God, I’m so sorry. Are you all right?”

  He helped me up to a sitting position, and my vision swam. I closed my eyes and cradled my aching head. My jaw throbbed and my whole body was shaking.

  “Christ, I’m so sorry, Kathleen.” Blane touched my back as gently as if I were made of glass, which at the moment, I felt like I was.

  “I’m okay,” I managed. “Just… get the phone. It’s Kade.”

  I motioned to where the phone had fallen out of my grasp. I could hear the tinny sound of Kade’s voice, calling my name.

  Blane grabbed the phone. “What?” he barked.

  He listened for a moment.

  “Yeah,” he said grimly to something Kade had asked, glancing guiltily at me, then away again. “No, I didn’t,” he gritted out. “No shit. I will. Listen, I’ll call you back, all right?”

  Blane disappeared into the kitchen. I heard the sound of ice clattering.

  Getting off the floor seemed like a good idea, so I eased my way onto the bed. I’d been hit before, but this had taken me by surprise. Even though it had been an accident, it was taking my emotions a bit longer to catch up with logic.

  Blane reappeared with a makeshift ice pack, a dish towel wrapped around some ice cubes.

  “Here,” he said, sinking onto the bed beside me. “Hold this to your jaw. It’ll keep the swelling down.”

  I did as he said and watched as he pulled on his pants, then went into the bathroom. This time he came back with a glass of water and two painkillers.

  “Take these,” he said. I traded him the ice pack. “How do you feel?”

  “I’ll be fine,” I said once I’d swallowed the pills. “Just took me off guard. I wasn’t expecting…” I waved my hand vaguely to indicate… whatever had just happened.

  Blane heaved a sigh, shoving a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry. I should have told you before.”

  “Told me what?”

  “It hasn’t happened in a long time,” he replied. “But sometimes I get nightmares, the kind I had all the time when I first got back from being deployed. And it’s best to not touch me in order to wake me. Better to just call my name.”

  “But why now?” I asked. “We’ve slept together before and this hasn’t happened.”

  Blane looked at me, and I knew I wasn’t going to like what he had to say.

  “The position they offered me, Kat,” he said. “It’s an opportunity unlike anything else. I could make a difference, really help other SEALs. It just has me thinking. Considering. Remembering.”

  “You’d have to be deployed again,” I said.

  He nodded. “But only for six months.”

  Six months. It sounded like a long time when someone you loved would be in harm’s way. I reached for the ice pack and held it against my jaw so I wouldn’t have to look at Blane.

  “I haven’t decided what I’m going to do yet,” he said quietly.

  “Why not?”

  He didn’t answer, so I glanced at him. Our eyes caught and held. He reached out, brushing his fingers through my hair.

  “Because of you.”

  Blane’s answer, so simply and honestly given, made relief swell inside me. So I was a consideration in his decision after all. I leaned against his chest. His arms wrapped around me, his chin resting on top of my head.

  When I knew I could speak without my voice breaking, I asked, “So when do you have to decide?”

  His shoulders lifted slightly in a small shrug. “A few weeks. I have to get through this case first.”

  I stiffened, drawing back out of his arms. “This guy you’re defending. He’s innocent, right?”

  Something shifted in Blane’s eyes as I looked at him, waiting for my answer. Finally, he shook his head. “No. He’s not.”

  Appalled, I pulled myself out of his grasp. “You’ve got to be joking! Why would you defend a rapist? I get that you’re a defense attorney, but to defend the guy when you know he’s guilty?”

  Blane’s jaw tightened. “Sometimes I have to do things I don’t necessarily want, or like, to do. That includes defending people who are guilty, and this is one of those times.”

  I jumped to my feet, putting some distance between us. “Why this guy?” I rounded on him. “Is it because of his uncle? That rich guy with all the political connections?”

  Blane hesitated. “Partly,” he admitted.

  “You’d defend a rapist just to further your political career?” My anger waned in the face of my dismay.

  Blane stood, approaching me. “I didn’t say it was to help my career,” he said carefully.

  “Then why?” I hoped his explanation would make all the difference.

  The words seemed hard for Blane to get out, but finally he said, “I… can’t tell you.”

  My jaw dropped in surprise before anger and frustration surged. “What do you mean, you can’t tell me? Can’t or won’t?”

  “Won’t. You just have to trust me, Kat.”

  “That’s rich,” I said. “You’re telling me that I just have to trust you with something you won’t even tell me? Trust is a two-way street.”

  “So you’re telling me that you don’t trust me?” he bit out.

  “I’m only dishing back what you’re handing out, Blane,” I shot back. “In case you’ve forgotten, we broke up because of something you didn’t tell me, and now you’re doing it again!”

  “This isn’t the same thing at all,” he denied angrily. He turned away, stalking to the window and looking outside, his arms crossed over his chest.

  I had the feeling he was trying to take a break, to ratchet down the escalating tension between us. It worked. I took a breath, then another. Going over to him, I slid my arms around his waist, pressing a kiss to his back and leaning into him.

  “I don’t want to fight,” I said quietly.

  Blane turned, settling his hands on my waist. The lines of strain I’d seen around his eyes while he was sleeping were even more pronounced now that he was awake. My stomach clenched with worry. It was obvious Blane was going through something, and arguing with me could only make things harder for him. I decided to bide my time, approach him again after we’d both cooled off.

  Our eyes met and his hand moved up to cup my jaw. I tilted my head into his touch, the rough pads of his fingers skimming my cheek. He looked down at me, to the open neckline of the shirt I wore, and he grasped the gold locket resting between my breasts.

  Kade had given me the locket for Christmas. It contained a tiny picture of my parents. I’d been overwhelmed with the gift, a
nd rarely took it off. Blane had asked me where I’d gotten it, and hadn’t made any comment when I’d told him.

  “I’m not going to ask you,” he began carefully, still looking at the locket, “what happened in Denver. Whatever his faults, I trust Kade to keep you safe. I always have. But I wonder about this job he’s given you, if it’s really something you want to do.” His gaze finally rose to meet mine.

  I hesitated before answering. “I’m not sure,” I said honestly. “Before, it felt like my life was happening to me, rather than the other way around. Now it feels like I have a chance to fix that.”

  “There are other things you could do, Kat.”

  “Like what?” I asked, wondering what he would say.

  “I think you should consider what you want,” Blane said. “What do you want to be when you grow up, Kat?” He smiled softly and dropped the necklace, returning his hand to my waist and pulling me closer.

  I gave a small huff of laughter. “Once upon a time, I wanted to be you,” I said, resting my palms against his chest.

  “Me?” Blane asked, his brows knitting in confusion.

  “A lawyer,” I explained. “But after seeing you, watching how it works, I don’t think I’d want to do that.” I thought for a minute. “I guess when I pictured it, my life, I always assumed I’d have a job of some sort, but I mostly looked forward to the day when—”

  I stopped, realizing what I’d been about to say. Heat rose in my cheeks and I looked away.

  “When what?” Blane asked.

  I shook my head. It would sound really pathetic to say it aloud.

  “Come on, tell me,” he gently persisted. “Please, Kat,” he said when I still remained silent.

  “The day when I wouldn’t be alone,” I blurted. “Visions of my future always seemed to revolve around having a family, not so much a job. I never had brothers or sisters, so I dreamed of a big family, lot of kids, laughter and a messy house and people to love.” I felt stripped bare in front of him, having confessed thoughts I tried not to dwell on.